Dawson & The Burning Of The Cakes ( VILLAGE TALES EP. 22 )

Episode 2 of the Dawsons where some of their history comes to light and the research done by Sir Mordant Fitzneatly into the story of King Alfred and the burning of the cakes. 

Could the Dawsons be involved in that?

Jack Dawson, the head of the Dawson clan residing at Brimstone on the outskirts of our village, can trace his family history back to the dark ages and beyond. Whenever, or wherever there has been a disaster the cause of which can be apportioned to human error, interference or involvement however well intended, the Dawsons search for a predecessor is seldom wasted. In the forthcoming edition of the ‘Dawsons Miscellanea of Mishaps’, it features several events that occurred while he was at his preparatory school, an elegant institution sited amongst rolling hills on the south coast. With several other boys Jack was in the games field preparing for their forthcoming sports day. The school could not have been aware of the Dawson history and particularly their inclination towards the accidental, if not actually the life threatening, otherwise young Jack would never have been allowed near a javelin, let alone being entered for that competition. Fortunately he was withdrawn prior to the appointed day and the inevitable massacre, having skewered the matron’s Chihuahua to the base of a hockey post. To some of the staff the incident was seen as a blessing, the Chihuahua, much like the matron, having never been a particular favourite. To all of the boys however, it was nothing less than, ‘a bloody good shot.’ It is not untypical that such an incident, which many may consider careless and avoidable, tends to work in the Dawson’s favour. Young Dawson was lorded as a folk hero for the rest of his school life, not withstanding the famous ‘Chemi-lab’ explosion which demolished over a quarter of the school less than two years later. You may recall it was covered by all the major newspapers and put the school on the map so to speak, or at least what was left of it. There again fate engineered out of it some credit for Dawson. The governors had long been debating how they could modify the chemistry lab and the surrounding classrooms in the light of insufficient funds and the existence of a protective listing on the property. Adequate insurance cover meant a new development could go-ahead with no more than a nod in the direction of its Tudor heritage. Further more the crater left by the explosion revealed remnants of a previously unknown chapel lost since the early middle ages. Some fragments of bone found during the archaeological examination were judged to be the remains of the martyred Saint Eponymous after whom the chapel had been named. The relics of the Saint can be viewed for a charitable donation on or around the 7th of August every year, that being the saint’s day. The relics are now kept securely in a glass case for safety after they were lost for a while when Dawson had been given the task of returning them to the school after their identification had been confirmed by the forensic department of a local university. They were eventually recovered from the Muswell Hill lost property office having been found on a number 37 bus going to Leyton at three o’clock in the morning. No explanation was ever forthcoming as to how such a thing could have happened, anything found on a 37 should definitely have been taken to the Hackney office.

Jack, and Gill Dawson, have four children, Amethyst, Brendan, Callum and Davinia. The latter still preferring not to answer to any other name but Dave.

It may seem a miracle that any Dawsons have survived considering their long history and the calamities that have befallen them but as I have mentioned, the Dawsons have a gift for ‘coming up smelling of roses’.This would have had have been the case otherwise they would have died out not long after the King Alfred and the burning of the cakes incident. Before anyone gets ahead of themselves, there is no proof yet that the Dawsons have any Royal blood flowing in their veins, however the history of this nation’s regal rulers is so littered with accidents, calamities, and feuds that some Dawson lineage cannot be ruled out. It is the so-called peasant woman in the burning of the cakes story that the Dawsons claim as a very distant relative. The historian and bibliophile Sir Mordant Fitzneatly, claimed to have incontrovertible evidence of her having a Dawson connection. Famed as one of those that survived the charge of the light brigade, Fitzneatly’s archive was supposed also to possess a decree from King Alfred giving her ‘some faire estate and titles that shall such befit the kindeness showen unto to king for her and her heirs hereafter.’ Unfortunately that and many other original documents regarding the Fitzneatlys and by marriage the Dawsons, went down with the Titanic. It was apparently while the octogenarian Fitzneatly was in conversation with the starboard lookout, having just discovered they shared a common ancestor, that the ship and the iceberg were abruptly introduced.

The forthcoming edition of the Dawsons ‘Miscellanea of Mishaps’, which I have mentioned Rachael, our local historian, is assisting Gill Dawson in writing, describes the burning of the cakes slightly differently. The popular version is that King Alfred, having won a famous battle against the Vikings stumbles, bedraggled, upon a herdsman’s hut. Not recognised by the herdsman’s wife she offers the soldier some refreshments and puts some ‘cakes’ to bake before the fire. As she leaves to get more wood she tells the king to watch the cakes to make sure they don’t burn. The king falls asleep so when the wife returns she scolds him for ruining the cakes. Any casual observer would at first wonder how was it possible for the King to be on his own. The Dawsons claim that it was an ancestor of theirs, a young page, that guided the King to take a rest at a place the page knew well, it being his mother’s. The family had fallen upon hard times after all their property, whilst being transported south to Wessex, had foundered in the Wash due to a mis-calculation of the tides. There is mention of a page at the time recorded merely as ‘Dai -a page and companion to the King’. The page’s father also had the Celtic name ‘Dai’, a not uncommon first name amongst the Welsh to this day. The family name was of Celtic origin as well, being Sunne (spelt s-u-n-n-e). Dai Sunne, the father, had some dealings with the Royal household being licensed as a maker of brooms and brushes. 

What copies of Fitzneatly’s work remain, argue that what would be normal while his lord and master, and a guest, took some rest, to the page would be left the tiresome duty of watching the cakes while his mother went to fetch some wood. It should have been predictable that some calamity was bound to occur if a Dawson was present. As there were at least two it is a blessing that it was only the cakes that were burnt. Sir Mordant proposed that hearing the commotion, King Alfred awoke and to save the boy further punishment, suggested the mother admonish him for being asleep and not ensuring the boy do his duty. It is that mark of the King’s generosity that has stood the test of the intervening centuries.

Whatever happened to the page and his father Dai Sunne the maker of brushes and brooms is not known but the similarity of the names Dai Sunne and Dawson certainly convinced Sir Mordant Fitzneatly that there was a connection. What else he discovered Rachael and Gill Dawson are hoping to find out, but what went down with the Titanic may never be known.

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Written and read by Barkley Johnson.